The Two Layers of Trust: Self-Trust and Trust in Life
“Trust is not given - it’s grown, slowly, one baby step at a time.” Aneta Idczak
Trust is at the heart of everything I do.
It’s at the core of my personal journey, and it weaves through all the work I share in the world - from one-to-one client sessions, to teaching female practitioners in my 160-hour Trauma-Informed Somatic Teacher & Coach for Women© certification.
Over the last 30 years - training, studying, practising, and working with thousands of clients - I’ve learned that trust isn’t just one thing. But it can be understood better through layers.
The two I want to explore with you today are:
Self-trust - trusting ourselves, our abilities, our inner wisdom.
Trust in Life itself - the bigger picture, the timing, and the unseen guidance that’s always here.
Arriving in the Moment
Before we go further, I want to invite you to pause and check in with yourself.
Feel the support underneath you - maybe it’s the ground beneath your feet, the chair behind your back, or the earth under your sitting bones. Look around you, take in your environment, notice 5 different things/objects around you.
Ask yourself:
How am I right now?
What do I need to move a little closer to stability, ease, and a sense of presence?
This simple practice - orienting, noticing and arriving - is one I teach in our training certification. It’s simple, yet can be profoundly life-changing.
The Cost of Lost Trust
When trust is missing, whether in ourselves, others, or Life itself - it costs us dearly.
We push harder, overwork, and overgive. Our boundaries are unclear to ourselves and others. We numb out just so we can cope - through substances, food, relationships, or constant busyness.
We get tangled in self-doubt: doubting our skills, our gifts, our clarity and our path.
And this inner conflict - this inner war - is exhausting.
Over time, living out of alignment with our values and soul’s calling can lead to exhaustion and burnout. I’ve experienced it myself. I’ve witnessed it in my partner, in my colleagues, and in so many of the women I’ve worked with over the years.
From a trauma-informed perspective, this makes perfect sense. Trauma damages trust - in ourselves, in others, and in the world. And trust, once broken, needs to be rebuilt slowly and intentionally.
Layer One: Self-Trust
For me self-trust is that grounded, embodied knowing: I can do this.
I can learn, adapt, and choose my own path. I have inner resources - my skills, gifts, my lived experience - and I can reach out to external resources like people, practices, and communities when I need them.
As practitioners, self-trust might mean:
Holding space for a client, even when sessions take an unexpected turn.
Trusting our skills, knowledge, and intuition to guide us.
Building a sustainable, profitable business without constant hustle or burnout.
How it feels in the body:
Stable. Grounded. Feet planted steadily on the ground. Spine elongated, strong and soft. Chest open and spacious. Breath steady. Fully present and engaged.
When it’s wobbly:
The front of the body collapses. Shoulders round. Breath shortens. We feel tense, rushed, shaky, or lost in someone else’s story.
Three Ways to Build Self-Trust
Here are three ways you can start building your self-trust today.
Keep small promises to yourself.
Every time you do - you strengthen your inner relationship based on trust and trustability.Celebrate little wins.
Let your body register and celebrate them - I did that, I made it happen - even though it was hard.Somatic anchoring.
Revisit regularly times you felt resourced, capable, grounded and safe enough. Let your body re-experience that state and make it more familiar.
Every time you show up for yourself in these ways, you give your nervous system and brain more evidence that you can be trusted and you normailse that way of being. It simply becomes who you are.
Layer Two: Trust in Life
The second layer is trusting something larger - Source, the Divine, Consciousness, or as I call it simply Life.
It’s knowing: I can’t control every detail.
BUT I can take responsibility for how I show up, AND I can also allow life to unfold in its own timing.
This is the trust that watches for the energetic breadcrumbs - the synchronicities, chance meetings, and small moments that guide us forward.
Like the seasons in nature, Life has its own rhythm. You can’t rush a plant to grow or bloom before it’s ready - something my grandmothers, both gardeners, taught me well.
How Trusting Life Supports Us
From a nervous system perspective, this kind of trust softens the sense of urgency.
It helps us breathe deeper, step out of constant hustle, and live in a more sustainable rhythm.
Here are some ways to cultivate Trusting Life:
Daily pauses. Notice where you feel guided or supported - what feels easy and flowing and what feels resistant.
Synchronicity journal. Write down perfect-timing moments you experienced during the day and open your heart to experience more of them.
Seasonal alignment. Plan your business and life in tune with your natural cycles and energy.
The Power of Both Layers Together
Self-trust without trust in Life can lead to over-control and burnout.
Trust in Life without self-trust can lead to passivity and missed opportunities.
Together, they create true co-creation - like a gardener tending the soil (self-trust) while trusting the Nature and seasons to bring the bloom (trust in Life).
A Closing Reflection
Place your hand somewhere that feels grounding - maybe your heart or belly.
Feel your feet on the earth.
Remember one time you felt deeply supported and in alignment. Let that feeling expand within you, filling you with warmth, light and a sense of steadiness.
This is the place from which you can live, serve, and create - without burning out, forcing, or losing yourself.
Ready to Explore This Work More Deeply?
If you want to deepen both self-trust and trust in Life - in yourself and in how you hold space for clients - join me in the Trauma-Informed Somatic Teacher & Coach for Women© certification. We build the skills, nervous system capacity, and deep inner trust needed to create a sustainable, values-led, and profitable practice.
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